mardi 10 novembre 2015

Healing 2 - day#22

The time that I was miraculously granted by the goddess of destruction (even thank you for it) was stopping my thesis. For me this thesis, was at once a success for today, a springboard to the future, a job allowing me to feed my family, an advanced for the planet (soil remediation.) I felt useful!

I had a week to feel really bad, at the bottom of the abyss, in crying.

But life does not let us down after shaking us so strong. A solution was quickly found for our family does not suffer too (although I had to make an effort every day, ends pretty purchases, we learned the value of food.)

In short I decided to keep my children with me (no school!) And I had to show a lot of creativity to make our daily life wonderful, informative, surprising and sometimes resting (sometimes.)

Meanwhile, I am fascinated by alternative pedagogies (2 children at home do not forget) and I discovered the writings of Montessori and later Steiner/Waldorf (not so well known in France) that established all the sad facts: arrival at adulthood, the man was devoid of creativity, autonomy. I did not want that for my children. I studied a minimum of psychology, communication in order to understand what was happening in me as a mom. New emotions, strong one which were unknown to me! Doubts, euphoria.

All this new time was used in the study. Yep ... I was literally plunged in books when the children fell asleep!

I then learned all that the school failed to teach us. Relations with others. Brain function in learning. The name of the emotions that we live. I was tying friendship, for the first time with what was happening inside.

An extraordinary book (which is no longer published in French) fell into my hands: educate your children and educate ourself. I also read books of Filliozat. Gradually I understood that my ways were acting like reflexes due to my education. There is a way to act consciously and be free of reflexes such as meditation.
to be continued

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